Hindsight

“Take care…love you…miss you… The kids miss you too especially Jay-Jay. He loves going to your room whenever he gets a chance.”

- my sister

This Friday I had two 2 nensei classes, which were a mixed bag. Tried “Mindmaster” which, of course, works with some kids and not others. Some didn’t have partners so I walked up to one to start up a convo and his eyes were running around a book as he saw me walk up. He completely ignored me so I just gave up. It’s amazing that some of them don’t even say “no I don’t want to” and try to find some escape, any escape.

I dig the kids who will even say “stop!” with humor. Common is “zenzen wakaran” (wakaran being wonderful Kitakyushu-ben).

Kitakyushu-ben: Nan shiyon… (nani o shite imasu ka/nani o shiteru no).

My laptop has arrived in Japan! I was in the staff room when Kyoto sensei picked up the phone, mentioned my name and then my father’s name. I looked at him from my desk then turned over to Kocho sensei and he was looking at me with this funny smile. I was trying to make sense of the whole situation until I was handed the phone. Someone from BOE told me the details, so I’m looking forward to Monday when I can pick it up.

I’m still fiddling with my new Powershot A40 (digital still camera, new toy). Macro mode doesn’t seem to… well, macro focus. If you want to see some photos, just e-mail me.

What else. I’m rotating to my next school, Tahara, after the fourth. Wonder how much different the pastures will be there.

Sissie over up north went to Tokyo Game Show and picked herself up a Gamecube/DVD combo. Jealous… but all good. I was just at Sports Day so…

Trying to keep myself busy as to not be homesick so much. L told us she decided already to go home after one year. She was very homesick. She told us when we were sitting at “American Bar” near Tanga monorail station (in front of the bar lies a door mat which says “The oldest registered bar in the United States of America”).

Sports Day over, mission complete. Yesterday I opted to videotape the whole thing, so I was up at the fourth floor with my camcorder and a tripod that Matsuyama sensei offered (had remote control from the handle, which really came in handy). Ikemoto sensei videotaped the last half! Guess he really wanted to.

I did get to run 100 meters in the sensei team - originally was assigned to do fifty but figured that just seemed so short. Twas fun, even though it was brief.

The enkai last night was great. Lots of food, a game or two (bingo and prizes) and of course mass amounts of beer. I was able to communicate with the staff and I think my Japanese is getting a little better, at least in terms of the flow. After party one we walked to a karaoke bar and I sang one song with Ikemoto sensei, nothing all that special.

Today I will have to go to the travel agent and figure out how much it will cost to go home. Tomorrow is the city-employee health checkup at noon.

“..I`m not hard on them because they don`t want to be there in the first place..”
- Fellow ALT

I`m at the net cafe again and annoyed at some Americans because they are just loud. Guess I got used to the “quiet Japan”.

Today I had just one class and talked to H. sensei about tomorrow’s lesson. Still nervous about it because it will be my first “team teaching” session. It`s going to be boring or something, I know. I`m not very good at whipping up new ideas.

Sports day is coming up and I might be chosen to be the videographer, out of sheer reputation - I`ve been taping rowdy students on and off over the past few days. They are really hilarious. This afternoon I walked in with them to the gym to watch them practice their onden (probably another mispelling), where they yell at the top of their lungs the school mantra.

They showed a videotape of Sports Day perhaps four years ago. I told fellow ALT this evening that it was like watching “Triumph of the Will”.

Still feeling unsettled. I got two letters, one from ex and another from her best friend. I haven`t opened them yet but I do know that once I read them I`ll just miss her. We talked on AIM yesterday afternoon. She is really looking forward to seeing me at Christmas. I am too, but man, this is just going to complicate things.

Two girls walked up to me today before (ichi nensei) class started just smiling and saying something in native Japanese. I asked K. sensei what they said. “They want to try to speak with you.”

“Anytime,” I said. Anytime. That was redeeming. Sometimes I just want to eat lunch with the ichi-nensei students because they give a damn.

Actually, last week, I was eating in a third year class homeroom - a girl walks up to me and shows me some magazine pages of a young Japanese actor. “Do you know?”

“Hmm, not Kaneshiro Takeshi…” I`d say.
“No! [said name here]”
“Ahh.”
“He is nice boy!” she said. I laughed a little.

“Okay wait”, I said. “Not nice boy. Say handsome.”
“Hansum?”
“Girls - beautiful… boys - handsome..”
“Ahh! Beautiful I know. Handsome…”

Minutes later I`m laughing inside because I here her saying ‘handsome’ to all her girlfriends in the class. I walk over and eventually it gets to the point where I gesture to all of them and say “all of you, beautiful!”. Much laughter. The things I`ll do to keep myself upbeat.

If you don`t have a good sense of humor and flexibility, you`re really screwed here, I think. What I am worried about, in regards to this, is how long my sense of humor will last me…

Yesterday (Friday) I did some more self introductions, but finally had one with a ichi-nensei class. Man, they are a total blast. Just enthusiastic and full of energy. It`s amazing how much of an energy/attitude gap there is between 1st and 2nd year Jr. High School students.

As I was putting on my shoes to leave, I thought I heard my name but kept walking out. About five meters out and I heard a kid scream “jeimuzu won!” so I ran back into the stairway and saw Nakano-kun in his baseball wear. He asked me in Japanese if I was going to videotape. “…ima?” I asked (”now?). He shook his head and asked about the actual game happening tomorrow (Sunday). I said, “ahh, hai hai”. That kid.. I`m telling you.

Last night was another case of “why do I hang out here and there”. I was burning my time at the net cafe, of course, and Chris got me to go with him to the local gaijin bar where all the ALTs were. Maybe I`m just too sensitive but I am really tired of being teased or made fun of. “You`re too easy, James”, Amber says. Yeah, perhaps so. In that case, I`ll do my own thing. Last nights hop from one bar to another was just boring, and its no fun anymore. Plus, before Chris and I hit the bar, I was talking to him and walked past yet another group of locals who said (in native Japanese no less) they were freaked out because they thought I was nihonjin. Jesus fucking christ!

I shouldn`t complain, since being out on the streets during the day doesn`t draw any stares or glances. But at the same time communicating to anyone for the first time is always a “interpret… pause and stare.. realize he`s not japanese” thing. Yikes.

One of my students wrote to me via e-mail! I handed out an info sheet about myself after self intro was over. But I can`t read the kanji, so I`m stuck. Definitely a ni-nensei, and on the basketball team, but I can`t discern all that much more. I`ll have to print it out and study the kanji. I`m glad someone wrote.

Tomorrow is the Hanao JHS baseball team game, lunch with Katsuhara sensei (and beer, so he said). Tomorrow evening Ryutaro over at the Airstream bar is inviting me to an Izukaya. I mispelled that didn`t I? Why I keep going back to Airstream (which is literally in the basement floor, below the I LOVE YOU internet cafe) is inexplicable. Perhaps the low priced 500 yen beer. Thats right, low priced.

Nervous about next weeks classes because I dont know the schedule yet. Getting used to this “you won`t know until the last minute” deal. Madness. Did I mention I love ichi-nensei kids?

ALT at Los Angeles Pre-Departure Orientation, July 2002:
“Remember, you *will* come back home…”

Fellow Kitakyushu Jr. High School ALT:
“You *will* change as a person…”

I`m sitting at the net cafe drinking my second coca-cola, not wanting to go home just yet, though I should. Something is bothering me, so much that I took the bus from school down to Kokura Station instead of home (not far off from home, but obviously an indicator that I am trying to escape some feelings, at least thats what I`ve been feeling).

Hanao Jr. High school definitely has wild kids. I try to basically run around with my best sense of humor, and its kept me alive and (mostly) enjoying being around the kids.

Monday was opening ceremonies… I wasn`t aware I was going to introduce myself at that assembly, but I did my best. Kyoto-sensei said `…Great!` after I was done. I think they like me.

The staff is great. I think the fact that I can communicate some Japanese really helps.

After opening ceremonies, I tried to help clean with the students and they all looked at me funny, but I think they are getting used to it now. I walked around to see what clubs were out there.

One group struck me the most. It was the baseball team. The field behind the school is entirely dirt. As I walked around, I saw them further out in the field, just practicing pitches and catches. One of them noticed me, yelled something out and every player turned around, took off their hats and bowed to me. They probably do this with any teacher or elder, but it was my first time to be shown respect by an entire team of rowdy kids I`d seen in a class just hours before. I`m sure all the kids at the school freak out when some gaijin 24 year old sits in their class for lunch or what have you, but it`s actually been my way of dealing with being lonely.

Sure, I live around so many ALTs its disturbing, but I still would like to meet others also. I shouldn`t put myself in the position that I can make friends with just any kid out at the school.

Nakano kun is this ni-nensei (7th grade?) kid who is cool. He`s so short you`d think he was first year, but is on the baseball team and is just.. cool. I ate at a homeroom today where Nakano has his classes. Eventually he`d come by and sit and just look at me. I`d look back for five seconds and say “What?/Yes?” and he probably said “nothing” in Japanese. While I can communicate to the kids and staff with my 2-year-university-study Japanese (read: still bare), there is obviously much to learn.

I`ve done six self intro classes so far, with enough material to last about 35-40 minutes, amazingly. The JTE`s asked me if I could do an introduction for an hour. Yikes. So far, doing alright.

I`m nervous about next week. I`m not very creative when it comes to school/english games, so I`ll probably be pulling out net/book resources and making sure I can find decent games for the kids.

Looking forward to the weekend. I need to buy some more short sleeved work shirts and refine my haircut if I can get off my ass to do the latter.

I should go home, but I am so comfortable just journaling here right now. Once again, old habits are hard to break. Well, that and I haven`t been able to do any creative webwork for over a month. Oh boy.