Hindsight

These are some of the first pictures I took when I bought my first standalone digital still camera, one year ago today. They are of my apartment when I was living in Kitakyushu. The place was called Kanada Kodan and my room was in Building 7, Room 206.

I was co-teaching at Hanao Junior High School at the time, in Yahata-ward, west of Kokura I believe.

One year ago.

It’s now 2003 and I wake up to face a kitchen at around noon. My sleeping schedule is “routine” - I go to bed at four or five in the morning, wake up at the break of noon, eat lunch and go about my day. The problem is that there isn’t much.

I sit at the far seat in the center at lunch everyday and have been doing so almost consistently for the last month or two. I don’t turn on the TV, I just sit there and eat.

Somehow I sense that Jack is actually listening to me sometimes. He is never directly facing me, but I think he listens to all the times I could be talking to myself, letting an expletive out while playing a video game, or some such. I’m not quite sure, but his presence has never disturbed me. One of my friends from High School gave me Jack.

It would be an understatement to say that I’ve been in an extreme emotional slump in the last few days. I haven’t gotten word from my employer, though I know that at worst I will start “sometime in November”. I don’t know my start pay. I am riding on this and if it doesn’t work out then, well, I’ve lost nothing. It’s just another month to go with.

Right after finishing my Statement of Agreement video I thought about tackling on another project - I found myself so focused when I was working on a video, it’s always like that. But right now I can’t think of anything, let alone focus. Personal issues seem to get the best of me at times like this, but I do keep myself busy.

I have forty dollars in my wallet and I’m in the red on my bank accounts (read: negative). Considering all that is happening right now, I would say that I’m doing a pretty damn good job of staying alive.

I always say that I’ll get past it. And I always do. I just need to start working, because I have far too much time to think right now. I’ve done most of my eBay auctions, made a video, played my video games, contributed to a database. I would like a buffer where I can space these out. I am quite a workaholic, looking for something to do.

I just need to start working where I’m supposedly hired.

…I don’t want to make games for 12-year olds. I have no interest in that. I haven’t been 12 in a long time. I don’t have kids. All I have is me, my wife, a dog, and some cats. To that extent, I want to make games — and everyone here at the studio — wants to make games that satisfy us. And we’re all getting older. So let’s do something more adult. Not, “Ooh, look, bare breasts. Ooh look, blood and violence.” Stuff that talks about, “What is a terrorist?” Stuff that talks about, “How do you feel about organized religion?” And it doesn’t just tell you — we don’t just preach. We set up a situation and let you interact with it and see the consequences of your choice. That’s what gaming does. And frankly, if making games that appeal to an older audience limits the number of people who can or will buy or play the games we make, I’m fine with that.

…Anyways, right now, we’re months away from shipping Invisible War. There are plenty of people who are worried about getting the framerate better. It’s pretty good now but it’ll get better before we ship. Our load times are too long. OK, great, we’ll fix that. The problems that are really worrying me, that number one problem I’m having right now, is “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now. This faction wants me to kill somebody, but I don’t want to do that. This faction wants me to hack a computer, but I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to do the things I’ve been given the option to do.” If you say, “This is what you have to do, this one thing,” players just do it because that’s the way to keep moving forward in the story. The moment you give them two, three, four options, they start going, “But I don’t want to do any of those.” And you’re in a whole new world of game design hell…

Full Warren Spector interview:

http://ps2.ign.com/articles/437/437762p1.html?fromint=1

Statement of Agreement
view Quicktime .mov (25mb)
download .zip (20mb)

The subject of this post is the song used in the video I finally completed this evening. After going over it several times and tweaking things here and there, it’s done. “Killing All The Flies” is by Mogwai, from their album “Happy Songs for Happy People“. I have listened to it so much this week that I am surprised I have not died tired from it. It has staying power.

I have spent most of my days in my room. I started getting into the project last Monday, so I’ve spent each day working on my video to some capacity.

The piece contains a bit of everything: things I received from my students while in Japan, digital stills and video from both my digital still and miniDV cameras. It was very frustrating at times to get things just to work, but I knew enough to workaround any problems with using the different formats. With all said and done, I’m happy with the final edit.

It’s got very little “video” considering, but it’s something I was meaning to work on since I got back. I spent a good amount of time this week working on it for output to miniDV video, so now I have a work that looks fantastic on a TV screen. In the future, I hope to put the video onto a DVD once I have the means.

If you watch it, please leave comments/feedback either here or at The Hindsight Project. I hope you enjoy it.

I love Domo-kun.

Domo-kun is the mascot for NHKs satellite service (known as “BS” - don’t run with it). I found out about him a few years ago by way of those “everytime you nani-nani god kills a kitten” images, in which a cat is running from two menacing (but cute) Domo-kuns.

This page is a good start for Domo fans, including a 100MB Quicktime .mov file that features the first run his commercials. How he came to be and such. It’s priceless.

This Domo-kun FAQ is also worth your time.

Sissie gave me a Domo-kun plush last year when both of us were in Japan. She’s still running with the ALT scissors, so to speak. Domo sits not too far from my bed now.

NHK = Nippon Housou Kaisha? Nippon broadcasting company, am I right?

My current desktop scheme. Going for the minimal approach, I suppose. Pictured is Cecilia Cheung in a scene from “Failan” (Korea).

I started work on my next video just the other day. I won’t say much until I get it done, there’s still a bit of work to do but the wheel is in motion. No stopping it now.

It’s only messy because it’s actually functional right now.

***

Two years ago today the first thing I did in the morning was wake up and check my e-mail. My cousin from Thailand, Nuay, e-mailed me asking if I was alright. He asked because he had heard of a “war in America”.

I checked News.com at the time and saw a picture of the twin towers. There was smoke billowing from it.

At first I had thought it was some hacker’s joke. I walked to the TV room and turned on the TV. I didn’t know what to make of it. It seemed very surreal.

I was foolish - I got in my car to start driving for work. Everyone else seemed to be doing so. My cel rang and Mari called me, telling me that most people were called to stay home. Some several miles out I got off the 91 and headed home.

One of the darkest days of the year, naturally. I was trying to get in touch with people I assumed were still in New York. One turned out to be way out in Indiana (I hadn’t heard from her in years despite numerous attempts - finally got her because of such an event, frustratingly). My other friend was fine but stuck in the chaos all day into the night.

I remember going through quite a bit at the time also, personally. It was just a mess.

Two years…

Today was more of less. Or maybe the same.

I finished Rogue Squadron II (Gamecube) after borrowing for a few days from my nephew. As beautiful as that game is, one can tell that the final missions were rushed. I don’t think flying into TIE fighters within minutes, twice, was part of the final mission’s “experience”. The last two missions reflect the movie well. There are so many enemies onscreen that you are more than likely to be one of those extras who happens to blow up. Repeat as necessary. I was pretty aggravated. But, hey, I finished it still.

RG2 wasn’t bad considering that the game’s developer, Factor 5, had nine months to make the game before Gamecube actually got released.

Watched “John Q” on DVD later in the day. Fair. Denzel Washington does an excellent job, but I found the plot a bit sensational. Predictable. I returned it to my sister and borrowed “The Insider” and “Erin Brokovich”, more of the I-need-to-catch-up-on-movies phase of my life right now.

Sarah McLachlan’s new song, “Fallen”, has been getting radio play I hear. Unfortunately, I can’t listen to it right now - the computer I’m on doesn’t have any sound (my laptop’s in a repair center). Oops!

I’ve always felt that Derek’s “Gaijinworld” is an intellectual cut-above some other weblogs I read, and I always find his style entertaining and insightful. He wrote to me on several occasions. Notably, before I left for Japan, when I had to decide my fate (to leave or not to leave) and also when I left my post.

Mr. Hannah has made the switch to Movable Type. Here’s to more Gaijinworld.

Speaking of Japan: I had ramen today. This morning I asked myself what was on my agenda, and there was nothing to do. One day to put away the supposed “productive-ness” of eBay auctioning or gaming. I met up with Clayton and the gang after they invited me to meet up with them at Shinsengumi.

Whereas I may have felt foreign to the menu a year ago, the listings of Hakata style ramen, gyouza and other goodies reminded me of my home that once was. It made the day pretty nostalgic - prior to dinner, Mari had brought some tapes over for everyone to watch, including taped shows of Utaban and another comic Japanese TV show whose title escapes me. Supreme nostalgia. Natsukashii.

Instead of going to bed at 1am yesterday morning I stayed up and decided to finally put in “Happy End” into my DVD player. I bought it while in Thailand, ecstatic to actually find an “official” release there.

It’s been a long time since I’ve watched Korean films. “Happy End” isn’t exactly new, either.

I was interested in “Happy End” after seeing “Failan” - that is, I knew nothing of Choi Min Sik until I saw “Failan”. (it became one of my favorite films a few years ago when I bought the DVD).

I have to say that Choi’s performance was, as always, excellent. So was Jeon Do-yeon’s.

Choi plays an unemployed husband, searching for work. He finds out that his wife Bora (Jeon) has been having an affair and finds a way to end it. I know, that’s a rather short/terrible synopsis but it’s a bit late to go any further. I enjoyed the film quite a bit.

The film is not afraid to show the intensity of both sides during the affair. Not for children, “Happy End” features strong sex scenes (the first scene could be classified as softcore porn) and gory, violent acts of revenge. The dark humor strewn throughout is a nice touch. A piano/violin driven score puts the finishing touches on a beautifully shot film.

Has anyone else seen “Happy End”? Would like to discuss some of the scenes that I haven’t quite grasped yet. Many are beautifully composed…

A review of “Happy End” is available here at Rotten Tomatoes.

Got around to watching the 2 VideoCD version of “Ong Bak”, an action film that made quite a bit of money last year in Thailand. It’s definitely for all action and martial arts buffs. Another fun, mindless romp. My father stayed up late to watch it all, too.

“The Thai movie “Ong-bak” is the type of film that sane movie stuntmen avoid. Why? Because “Ong-bak” is a vicious and violent (although not very bloody) martial arts film that is less concern with the men doing the stunts than it is with showcasing the power, brutality, grace, and effectiveness of Muay Thai….”

The rest of the review is here. A more critical view here over at Rotten Tomatoes.