Jacked
JET Program, Japan, Uncategorized September 25th, 2003
These are some of the first pictures I took when I bought my first standalone digital still camera, one year ago today. They are of my apartment when I was living in Kitakyushu. The place was called Kanada Kodan and my room was in Building 7, Room 206.
I was co-teaching at Hanao Junior High School at the time, in Yahata-ward, west of Kokura I believe.
One year ago.
It’s now 2003 and I wake up to face a kitchen at around noon. My sleeping schedule is “routine” - I go to bed at four or five in the morning, wake up at the break of noon, eat lunch and go about my day. The problem is that there isn’t much.
I sit at the far seat in the center at lunch everyday and have been doing so almost consistently for the last month or two. I don’t turn on the TV, I just sit there and eat.
Somehow I sense that Jack is actually listening to me sometimes. He is never directly facing me, but I think he listens to all the times I could be talking to myself, letting an expletive out while playing a video game, or some such. I’m not quite sure, but his presence has never disturbed me. One of my friends from High School gave me Jack.
It would be an understatement to say that I’ve been in an extreme emotional slump in the last few days. I haven’t gotten word from my employer, though I know that at worst I will start “sometime in November”. I don’t know my start pay. I am riding on this and if it doesn’t work out then, well, I’ve lost nothing. It’s just another month to go with.
Right after finishing my Statement of Agreement video I thought about tackling on another project - I found myself so focused when I was working on a video, it’s always like that. But right now I can’t think of anything, let alone focus. Personal issues seem to get the best of me at times like this, but I do keep myself busy.
I have forty dollars in my wallet and I’m in the red on my bank accounts (read: negative). Considering all that is happening right now, I would say that I’m doing a pretty damn good job of staying alive.
I always say that I’ll get past it. And I always do. I just need to start working, because I have far too much time to think right now. I’ve done most of my eBay auctions, made a video, played my video games, contributed to a database. I would like a buffer where I can space these out. I am quite a workaholic, looking for something to do.
I just need to start working where I’m supposedly hired.
September 25th, 2003 at 8:14 pm
I’ve been unemployed for far too long now, but I do what I can to keep busy during the day. I’m up until two or three most nights and awake around ten - lunch is the first meal of the day. Since I’m by no means a morning person, it’s a comfortable schedule.
My Dad left for Guam a couple of months after I moved back home, so it’s pretty much been just myself and my Mom this whole time. So, I pretty much take care of housework and other errands during the afternoon while she’s at work. If I’m working on any personal projects, I usually don’t get to them until night, when I know I won’t be interrupted.
I don’t particularly like living this way, but it’s at least comfortable. Even when I lived on my own through college, I kept my expenses down, and moving back home suddenly meant no rent, utility, or food bills to boot. Had I been working all this time, I guess I’d be sitting on a stack of money now - except, if I had the money, I would have already bailed. It’s not that I’m miserable. I’m just bored.
My Dad might be back by the end of the year, or he might not. He won’t necessarily have a job waiting for him then, so my parents might have to pack up and move. My old roommates (and best friends) from college still live together, and plan to find a new place once their current lease ends in December. I’ve agreed to move back. I’m going back to school next semester anyway, to finish the last couple of foreign language classes I need in order to officially graduate.
Of course, that means I need to find a job by then. It’s tough, though. The economy is down, my resume has a hole in it from not having worked for so long, and I’ve simply forgotten how to go about LOOKING for a job. Further complicating things is that many potential jobs within easy commuting distance of where I WILL be living aren’t reasonable commuting distance from where I CURRENTLY live. And since I’ll be in school again (even though I’ll only be taking one class per semester), I can’t do 40 hours/week.
But as stressful as it all is, I’m looking forward to getting out of here. I’m so tired of wasting so much time doing absolutely nothing of value. Even my leisure time feels like a waste.