Hindsight

I got something in the mail today.

It looks like Mrs. Morizono received the package of pictures I sent her two months ago. I was surprised to find something from her in the mail this evening. There were other letters and drawings inside. New words from the junior high kids that will always bring me back.

My latest project is up:
One Month in a Day

No year-in-review here this year. Just looking forward now, as last month ended rocky. I can only look forward and hope to do better. Happy New Year.

Today I have been very blue. So I am thinking about the pasts which have been cheerful and fascinating.

Here is more reminiscence. Associated with the memories is an iPod, the inseparable device I brought with me while walking and living in Japan last year.

“A Sorta Fairytale”

Tori Amos

Minamikusami bus from Kokura, in front of the MOVE building, to Kokura Higashi Koko Mae (Kokura East HS) stop near Tahara JHS. Also linked to Murakami-san in that I made her a copy of the “Scarlet’s Walk” album and she loved it.

“Monochrome”

Yoko Kanno, vocals by Ilaria Graziano

Isolation in the colder months. (lyrics)

“Pete Standing Alone” and “Everything You Do Is a Balloon”

Boards of Canada

These two songs are intimately linked with my memories of exploring Akihabara for the very first time.

EssGee

Underworld

What the Statement of Agreement video might have sounded like. The song that brings it all back to me.

Work was full of wackiness. A bit more than usual, which can be equated to almost far too much. But all of us got a bit done and it was just another day at work with good company.

When I come home from these night shifts I sometimes get the day’s mail. Sometimes I’ll procrastinate until the next day. Maybe it was the hope that I actually would get something.

I parked at the designated lot and walked to the mailboxes. Sifted through the mail and what do you know… something from my Board of Education supervisor. From Kitakyushu. I literally smiled at it for a few seconds, out in the cold.

After throwing my shoes to the side, near the front door, I opened up the envelope. A Christmas card. “Various Japanese Foods” - I could actually discern the Japanese still.

How subtle a task this might of been for her, to mail this card out to me. Not someone necessarily close to me, but someone who just brought themselves in touch by way of a simple message; a message that didn’t go by way of e-mail, but by a tangible piece of paper. It may sound awkward, but I am moved by this.

Merry Christmas.

One year ago today I was at Fukuoka Dome with Amber, Dion, Stacey and Tim at a U.S. versus Japan All Star Game. Just before the game was a fine trial of keroscene. You’d have to read the post I made just about a year ago.

I was at work, thinking about Japan again during the long load times of the game I was assigned to test. It was pretty productive this evening. That’s all I’ll mention of work for now.

My routine has solidified a bit more. It’s rather comforting at times. Lonely, yes. But nothing out of the ordinary. I have my entertainment and my way of keeping in touch with everyone. For everything else that slips through, no big deal.

I’ve always got big plans.

These are some of the first pictures I took when I bought my first standalone digital still camera, one year ago today. They are of my apartment when I was living in Kitakyushu. The place was called Kanada Kodan and my room was in Building 7, Room 206.

I was co-teaching at Hanao Junior High School at the time, in Yahata-ward, west of Kokura I believe.

One year ago.

It’s now 2003 and I wake up to face a kitchen at around noon. My sleeping schedule is “routine” - I go to bed at four or five in the morning, wake up at the break of noon, eat lunch and go about my day. The problem is that there isn’t much.

I sit at the far seat in the center at lunch everyday and have been doing so almost consistently for the last month or two. I don’t turn on the TV, I just sit there and eat.

Somehow I sense that Jack is actually listening to me sometimes. He is never directly facing me, but I think he listens to all the times I could be talking to myself, letting an expletive out while playing a video game, or some such. I’m not quite sure, but his presence has never disturbed me. One of my friends from High School gave me Jack.

It would be an understatement to say that I’ve been in an extreme emotional slump in the last few days. I haven’t gotten word from my employer, though I know that at worst I will start “sometime in November”. I don’t know my start pay. I am riding on this and if it doesn’t work out then, well, I’ve lost nothing. It’s just another month to go with.

Right after finishing my Statement of Agreement video I thought about tackling on another project - I found myself so focused when I was working on a video, it’s always like that. But right now I can’t think of anything, let alone focus. Personal issues seem to get the best of me at times like this, but I do keep myself busy.

I have forty dollars in my wallet and I’m in the red on my bank accounts (read: negative). Considering all that is happening right now, I would say that I’m doing a pretty damn good job of staying alive.

I always say that I’ll get past it. And I always do. I just need to start working, because I have far too much time to think right now. I’ve done most of my eBay auctions, made a video, played my video games, contributed to a database. I would like a buffer where I can space these out. I am quite a workaholic, looking for something to do.

I just need to start working where I’m supposedly hired.

Statement of Agreement
view Quicktime .mov (25mb)
download .zip (20mb)

The subject of this post is the song used in the video I finally completed this evening. After going over it several times and tweaking things here and there, it’s done. “Killing All The Flies” is by Mogwai, from their album “Happy Songs for Happy People“. I have listened to it so much this week that I am surprised I have not died tired from it. It has staying power.

I have spent most of my days in my room. I started getting into the project last Monday, so I’ve spent each day working on my video to some capacity.

The piece contains a bit of everything: things I received from my students while in Japan, digital stills and video from both my digital still and miniDV cameras. It was very frustrating at times to get things just to work, but I knew enough to workaround any problems with using the different formats. With all said and done, I’m happy with the final edit.

It’s got very little “video” considering, but it’s something I was meaning to work on since I got back. I spent a good amount of time this week working on it for output to miniDV video, so now I have a work that looks fantastic on a TV screen. In the future, I hope to put the video onto a DVD once I have the means.

If you watch it, please leave comments/feedback either here or at The Hindsight Project. I hope you enjoy it.

Two or three days ago I received a postcard from Noriko - one of the office staff at Tahara. Before school had ended we’d talked a bit more and she mentioned her summer plans to go to New Caledonia. I honestly had no idea where that was until I looked it up online. It was a nice surprise in the mailbox and I’m happy she thought of me while vacationing. I may have mentioned it before, but Noriko also sings in a rock band on the side. Pretty neat.

I watched Monsters, Inc. this afternoon.

While dabbling in the usual time killers (read: PS2) I got a call from my cousin in the evening. Considering that he was only 15 minutes away and that I had no major plans aside from “the usual” for the evening, I drove down and met up with him and my other close cousin. We went to BJ’s for Happy Hour.

It didn’t cost much but, even though I offered, they covered. I should jump to work soon so that I can treat them back sometime. Two rum cokes and part of a mini pizza. Light drinks and food over conversation about Japan and all else.

I used to spend nights over their place when we were all in middle school, playing Nintendo games like Stinger, River City Ransom and M.U.S.H.A.

Speaking of which, the last couple of nights (at around 2 or 3am almost ritually) I would stumble upon an attractive game job here or there. Resumes e-mailed/faxed or what not. So much for a complete hiatus from thinking about work - it’s for the better anyway.

(Final cleaning before summer vacation.
Tahara JHS. Picture dated July 17, 2003)

DVD today: Tomb Raider.

Amber was in town, in SF. She called me and it felt like having a phone conversation from my apartment in Kitakyushu. The moment was suspended in time, I felt like myself a little more. I asked her what she’d been up to and we compared notes on our feelings about being home. She’s just on vacation, though, and is returning to the fray next week.

I suppose I will have to live vicariously for this new school year in Japan.

There is a quote from Soderbergh’s version of Solaris that I find relative to my current experiences. George Clooney’s character Chris Kelvin says this:

“Earth. Even the word sounded strange to me now… unfamiliar. How long had I been gone? How long had I been back? Did it matter? I tried to find the rhythm of the world where I used to live. I followed the current. I was silent, attentive, I made a conscious effort to smile, nod, stand, and perform the millions of gestures that constitute life on earth. I studied these gestures until they became reflexes again. But I was haunted by the idea that I remembered her wrong, and somehow I was wrong about everything.”

Fucking genius. After everyone and their mother asked me if I’ve joined Friendster I told them this:

“Yes. I joined a month before the fever hit and cancelled because it was pointless.”

So why did I join again? Because people won’t shut up - my friends just keep asking. So there I am. I’m on it. Enjoy. Now I can connect to twelve thousand people. I feel special, really. Call it another social experiment, or if I will suddenly be re united with my high school crush. I really don’t know and I honestly still don’t care. But I am still open to some hopes of the internet.

I already know that Friendster will start charging in a few months. Maybe not the current users but possibly future users. How else is a company going to manage a database of millions. For free? You have got to be kidding me. Once they ask me to pay up, you can kiss my userID goodbye. Until then, I’ll sit idle on the network.

Yesterday I watched all four episodes to the first DVD of “Please Teacher” (Onegai Teacher in Japan).

It’s easy to tell that PT is something of a male, adolescent fantasy come true. Everyone at school think’s Kei is 15 when he’s ctually 18 years old. A “standstill” causes him to sleep in a coma state for three years. So while his body hasn’t matured three years, his mentality somehow has.

Now, a new teacher has started in his small town. And she just so happens to be very sexy. Can I talk about animated characters that way?

Call it the best way to get around a teacher/jailbait scandal, but there you have it. While some scenes are clearly targeted towards a male audience, there is a bit that can lend itself to both male and female viewers alike. It is not adult anime but isn’t for younger viewers either. The supporting characters are very, very entertaining.

I’m interested in catching the rest of the series and plan to pick up the other DVDs (4 in total with the first 3 currently in release) as time and money permits.

So that is what I watched yesterday afternoon. There is finally some time now to do a few other things to relax (PlayStation 2, many DVDs to catch up). Everything in moderation I suppose.

***

The day is not over, but I did spend a few hours out. I had to drive to Anaheim to visit a branch of my credit union. Pension refund and all that goodness from my work as an ALT in Japan. It was comfortable even though it the temperature was high. Relaxing despite the horrid traffic. I’m pretty sure that will all change once I find work. For now, though, I am optimistic.

I feel as though when I’m out, or talking to people, my peripheral vision has somehow narrowed. My focus has increased some. Somewhat difficult to explain with words, but something very assuring and comforting in execution. You’d just have to be there.

Oh, and Kristen of mediatinker.com posted my contribution to Yamanote29. My caption to the image?
Businessmen as usual.

The final month (July) of pictures for Statement Agreement is up.

http://www.jameswong.com/japan/pictures