I had a chat with Rajiv this evening about my recent worries. That is, my perceptions and how I might be different when I go home.

James: Today I didn’t want to think about school or teaching. I just dabbled on my laptop and juggled a hackey sack around my hands.
James: Oh yes, its horrible.
James: I just dont want to revert to what I was, per se.
Rajiv Patel: you’re not the same person as when you left
Rajiv Patel: and it’s hard for the people you left behind to readjust
James: Definitely not, but I don’t want to ease back to that.
Rajiv Patel: which makes it hard for _you_ to adjust
James: Yes EXACTLY
James: See you know.
Rajiv Patel: yeah
James: Like I emailed my friend saying, what if I dont want to be the same? If I want to do something different, not to hangout so much. I thought about that recently.
Rajiv Patel: most of my friends drifted apart over the course of my two stays in california
Rajiv Patel: it sucked, but i found that (in one or two cases) i just didn’t like who they were any more
Rajiv Patel: they hadn’t changed at all in 5 years, while i was a totally different person
James: Yeah. I’m really glad to have gone through this.I wouldn’t have it any other way. That is, I’m happy with who I am right now.
Rajiv Patel: that’s cool
Rajiv Patel: it’s nice to be at peace with yourself
Rajiv Patel: i have days like that
James: Yeah.