In less than three weeks, the Japan I once knew and hoped to experience again had turned upside down. The teaching work was overwhelming, and I had sprained my back before I even moved into my apartment, just one week after arriving in the country. My spirits were crushed when the first week of November kicked in.

It had been just two weeks. I was on the phone with the head office of my employer. I gave sudden notice that I was quitting.

"...What's wrong? Just tell me, [lay it down]."

I came to an ultimately honest realization and answered.

"I made a big mistake."

Perhaps I wasn't meant to be a teacher. Maybe I fooled myself all along and only now I realized the truth. I loved Japan - I lived there for one year. This time I was ready to leave with weeks. What happened?

I moved myself and two suitcases from my apartment in Yokohama to a friend's place in Warabi, north of Tokyo. Once I got there I looked at the size of the apartment complex. It reminded me of Kanada Kodan, the name of my old apartment in Kitakyushu.

In fact, my friend's floorplan was laid out exactly the same. So, I thought, this is what Japanese goverment-housing looks like. I did remember thinking to myself that I might have lived in lower-income housing some two years ago. Though I didn't realize that it was actually true until I was told about it this time around.

My friend took me in without hesitation, without asking any questions. I explained myself and my situation anyway prior to giving her the phone call.

I stayed for a week and left Japan on the 25th, one month since arriving. I left, in a sense, running away. There is a guilt that stays with me because of the school and the staff that accomodated my arrival. All of them were so friendly and helpful. But it was far beyond what I could handle and I realized that the job was not for me. My sudden and shocking departure was evidence of that.

Many of my friends told me to "at least enjoy Japan before you leave". They know I have a heart for the place: to leave bitter would be rotten. For the week that I was housed I visited friends in the area, walked around my favorite districts and absorbed the atmosphere that was Tokyo. It was an inspiring but shocking week for me. My sprained back kept me worried.

I returned to California, jet-lagged and disoriented. October was one of the most difficult months of the year. Strange and true.